Don't be frightened to say NO

Many times people say to us “could you just do this for me?” when we really don’t have the time but we don’t want to offend them. The reality is whether you have enough time to spare to complete their request without suffering as a consequence of taking on this extra task.

We tend to fear upsetting others by saying NO and assume some sort of reprisal or hostility. Let’s reverse the roles and assume you asked someone to help you and they politely told you “I’m really sorry I can’t do that I’m too busy” I doubt that you would be offended. I’m sure you would understand that they meant no malice by their comments and you would find an alternative solution.

Therefore is our intention of taking on more than we can achieve an act of charitable goodwill or is it self-sabotage so we can become a martyr? You need to do what’s best for you at that specific time, so that you are in a position to help others when the spare time arises. Like many of us, I have been brought up to be a “people pleaser” to make everyone around us happy. We do this in the hope that the results will make us happy. Sometimes this works, but quite often it doesn’t and we feel short-changed as a result.

Whenever you travel on an aeroplane, the stewardess always tells you to fit your own facemask in an emergency before helping someone else. That’s not being selfish; it’s ensuring you get what you need so you have the time to help others.

http://www.mikebowden.uk/