Goal is a hollow word

I personally, am not a fan of the words “goal” or “objective” which are bantered around so freely without any true meaning. I find the words hollow and sterile because they are words without emotion. I prefer to focus more emotional charged words that get your pulse racing and a smile on your face, words such as “passion” or “desire”, imaginative words like “dream” or “vision” which paint a picture of a thousand words.

I agree that it’s so important to focus on the outcome to understand the journey. But, I believe there is far more benefit to achieve what you truly want if it generates a feeling. Following a typical SMART goal can be sterile and meaningless, often creating a response of “never mind I tried” when you don’t achieve what you set out to do.

Let me explain what I mean, if you are one of the lucky few who achieve your “goal” then you tend to look at it and think what’s next. It doesn’t create any great sense of satisfaction; it’s just a process, a stepping stone to something else, but what?

Let me give you an example. If your “goal” was to earn a million pound, in reality it’s just numbers on a bank statement. If you now imagine what that money will buy you, things become difference. Suppose that money bought you a yacht, now how do you feel on that boat. Can you now feel the wind on your face, the smell of the sea and the sound of the gulls? You are chasing after the experience and the money becomes merely a tool to get you there.

Focus on the feeling every time and it will turbo-charged your journey into and emotionally charged challenge where failure becomes too painful for you to comprehend. 

http://www.mikebowden.uk/

Blindly going where others won't

I today chatted at length to the most inspirational guy that I have ever met. This unassuming man in his late fifties could easily be passed by and go unnoticed. He sat with confident grace soaking up the atmosphere of his surroundings and I’m sure in his mind every detail was being logged firmly into his memory.

I had earlier heard a brief presentation from the man affectionately known as “Blind Dave” at an event we both attended. He gave a short but very humorous account of his new book “From Light to Dark” and I was compelled to buy a copy.

Dave Heeley is a local man that lost his sight over three decades ago, but his handicap has never held him back from achieving things beyond our wildest dreams. He is the first and only blind person in the world to have completed the ultimate endurance challenge 7 marathons in 7 days on 7 continents. He has run marathons through The Sahara Desert and cycled/ran the length of the country completing 10 marathons in 10 days, just to name a few of his amazing achievements.

By chance, we met later the same day at another event. This time I had the ultimate pleasure of chatting to him in depth, having the opportunity to ask him details of his extraordinary challenges, which he willing obliged to share his stories. This charismatic guy has unbelievable courage and commitment to everything that he attempts. I was mesmerized as he recalled in detail some of his achievements and hung on every word like a schoolboy listening to his favourite teacher.

I sincerely wish him every success for his new book which I’m sure, will ooze passion and humanity from every page. Good luck with the next challenge in June and I’ll be cheering you on all the way.

http://www.mikebowden.uk/

Change is in the detail

We tend to create habits in our routine that for some reason we never seem to break. This could be due to us being in our comfort zone, or just being absent-minded about situations but when they no longer serve us, they can cause frustration and pain. Often we are oblivious to our routines until something snaps and forces us into action.

 

Henry Ford’s saying "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got" and it is so true. If we want change the results that we get, then we have to change something in our life. Even if you alter one detail in our pattern, it’ll be surprising what a difference it can make.

A friend of mine always left home at 8.30am to take the children to school before work. The queues of traffic on the school lane would frustrate him. He would then struggle to get parked at the school gates, and then once again fight his way through the traffic to get to work on time. The whole episode was a stressful experience and would put him in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

He decided to change his routine. He began to leave his home at 8.15am, park his car at the end of the school lane and walked the children to school. He enjoyed the exercise and smiled at the other motorists stuck in the mayhem. He would take the children into school, then walk or sometimes jog back to his car, before the onward journey. He would still get to work at the same time, but he felt refreshed and ready for his working day. His mood was different because he did something different.

http://www.mikebowden.uk/

Emotionally what do you sell?

One business story that I was told to me many years ago has changed the way I look at the world and how I think about any business contact that I have. Whether it is true or not I’m unsure but the moral is worth hearing.

Allegedly the Parker Pen factory employed a business consultant to analyse the company and offer recommendations to help the business to become more profitable. The consultant spent a week talking to as many people as he could on all levels within the business. He watched, he studied and he wrote up his report.

On the final day he was expected to give his findings to the panel of directors. He entered the boardroom to see in front of him a long table with several stony faces staring back at him. There was obviously tension from some of the board of director’s, feeling uncomfortable with what was about to be said. It would highlight some people’s shortcomings and clearly some members where squirming in their seats.

The consultant faced the panel and said, “before I give my report can I ask you one question, what do you make?” The chairman roared at the consultant, clearly taking the comments as a person attack. The chairman said, “we have paid you a large sum of money to conduct a report on our company and you ask what we make, we make pens of course!”

The consultant remained calm and replied, “no you don’t make pens, you make presents”. Clearly the directors of the company had been so consumed by the practicalities of running a business that they forgot why the business was in existence, they have overlooked their sole purpose they were in the business of make memories.

I have had several Parker pens over the years and I can never remember buying one for myself. Every writing item from this company has come as a gift for various reasons and I’m sure that most people feel the same. This large company that everyone knows so well isn’t a stationery supplier, they are a creator of memories every time someone uses their product, their pen just happens to be the tool that gets the result.

http://www.mikebowden.uk/

Are you a carmaker or a driver?

Imagine we are stood in a factory and I give you lots of spare parts. There are wheels and seats, a shiny new engine and several body parts. I give you a box of small component parts, an instruction book and all the tools you will ever need.

You work tirelessly for weeks constructing a new car from all the parts until one day you turn the ignition key and its fires up, bringing new life to elements that individually meant nothing. With a huge sense of pride you climb inside and start to drive the car around the factory. The feeling of achievement and satisfaction are making you burst with happiness.

The question is, are you a carmaker or a driver?

A carmaker will go back to the factory and find all the component parts to make another car and do the same things over again and again. Although he could improve on his machine, no one was there to share his labours. The process has a result but it is sterile and repetitive. Eventually the pain becomes greater than the pleasure, so the carmaker makes no more cars.

A driver will revel in the experience and tell everyone else how fantastic it is to drive a car. He will enthuse how brilliant it was to complete his first motoring masterpiece and broadcast how wonderful it would be to go faster. He would encourage everyone around him to get excited about his vision until other people started to build his next project. They would want to satisfy his need for going faster and to enjoy the glory of being part of his history.

A legacy is born from passion and desire. Getting noticed by the people who believe in what you believe and share the positive emotions you express creates it. No one noticed the carmaker regardless of how hard he worked, so no one followed him. 

http://www.mikebowden.uk/

CGM blog: Taking the Mike

Or at least take a lesson from Mike – a fella called Mike Bowden to be precise, who is a life coach based in the Black Country. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know much about Mike or his business, Changing Outcomes, before I read his book, Understanding the Mirror.

It is a self-published work and just about the best example of the extended business card vision someone writing their own business book could wish to produce.

Partly autobiographical, partly providing practical tips, Understanding the Mirror says so much more about Mike’s real life background and suitability to coach than any number of network meeting elevator pitches or boastful sales spins could ever achieve.

I won’t spoil it for you, but Understanding the Mirror, is based on a personal experience and offers a series of potentially life changing solutions we can all absorb. There but for the grace of God…

Now, I don’t know if Mike is any good at life coaching – I haven’t met any of his clients or experienced his work. Neither would I say Understanding the Mirror is the most grammatically correct book I have ever read. But here’s what I do know:

– I can hear Mike’s voice throughout Understanding the Mirror – it has pace, power and is warts and all;

– Mike has first hand experience of bouncing back from serious problems so his advice isn’t vague theory. It is thoroughly felt and understood by the person offering it;

– He is a warm, sincere and genuine person (and that oozes through the pages).

I’m sure writing Understanding the Mirror was a cathartic exercise for Mike but imagine having those features established in the mind of a potential client?

Publishing a business book isn’t easy or cheap – and certainly not for everyone. The sanguine advice that most people have a book in them and that’s where it should stay rings true.

But planned and written in the right way, a business book can work wonders. Not in a sterile and cynical way to win business by battering readers around the head with a litany of lies about how fantastic and wonderful you are and always have been – but by touching people’s hearts and souls with deep values, beliefs and ethics that matter.

Those are the kind of characteristics we encourage when we provide publishing advice at Chris Green Media. It is a journey and we support you in taking the right steps.

Chris Green is an author, broadcaster and media consultant – and managing director of Chris Green Media. 

by ChrisGreenMedia on May 12, 2015

http://www.chrisgreenmedia.com/cgm-blog-taking-the-mike/

http://www.changingoutcomes.co.uk/

You can be heroes for more than one day

I was sadden to hear of the passing of Dave Bowie, he was a music hero of mine from my 70’s childhood. I can recall with clarity his performances on Top of the Pops and playing his 12” records on my dad's old stacking HiFi system. ​ ​How he created this heartfelt memory, was partly due to his music, but more so the way he made me feel. He facilitated my passion for the Glam Rock era, he inspired my interest for flared trousers, outlandish hairstyles and reinforced my love of a diverse range of music. I’m sure his intention was to entertain a nation but he did far more than that.

Knowingly or not, he orchestrated my childhood memories by creating various personas that the masses wanted to copy. He created role models that people could aspire to be, it help them escape their mundane existence. This was never a physical transformation but he did create emotionally satisfaction thus he will be remembered for the way he made people feel.

People wanted to be just like him, copying his dress, his makeup but also his dreams. They wanted to own his success for themselves and they strived for people to follow them, in the way they followed him. He created a lifestyle for others to aspire to and his music was just a tool to get there.
​
I believe that the memory of a feeling is far more powerful that what someone gives you. Dave Bowie was an artist just like many others, but what made him so special was how he constantly reinvented himself to appeal in a fresh and exciting way. He gave a message that if you reach your pinnacle and accepted the prize, you could still invent a new summit to chase. He inspired a nation to explore an emotional journey which I applaud. 

http://www.changingoutcomes.co.uk/

The self-prophecy of a label

I recently took on a client that I would have never expected. She didn’t fit into my usual remit but her father was desperate and didn’t know where to turn for help.

This client was a teenage girl suffering from anorexia. She had undergone a dozen different counsellors over several years with no success. She had been systemised by society and the mechanical process that the medical profession had adopted. Her language was very factual and it was clear that she was telling me information that she thought I wanted to hear.

I’m not a trained counsellor but I am a qualified coach and my heart stretched out to this vulnerable child that had grown up far too quickly. She was in turmoil and had lost her innocence to a monster that she didn’t even understand. Her parents naturally wanted to protect their daughter and cocooned her from any harm that they could image.

It became clear to me that the process of protection, was also taking away any choices she had. It left the only control which she had “food”. She is an extremely intelligent girl who managed to control her calorie intake to the minutest detail. She had self-harmed out of frustration and her condition, although somewhat stable at this point, was far from where she needed or wanted to be. She had realized that her body was under-developed and would cause serious medical conditions in the long-term.

I couldn’t believe that the medical profession had let her down by not exploring the motives for change. They had “told” her what she should do and even “frightened” her with the dire outcomes of continuing this path, but never once asked her how she felt. They failed to highlight the positive emotions that make us all enthusiastic enough to change. Everyone that was trying to help her was just suffocating her spirit and branding her with a generic label that she didn’t want. It was becoming a self-prophecy of the box she had been put into.

I got to know this very clever girl and learnt to respect her views. Although the system had made her grow up very quickly, she was still a little girl inside and wanted to have the freedom of adolescence. Sure she would make mistake but she needed to have choices, she needed to have fun. She had lost confidence with her peer groups and couldn’t develop friendships, but she recognised what was holding her back. She had a vision of how she wanted to look, what she wanted to achieve and what the future would look like. 

I gave her the trust that she was the best person to design her life and offered the support to get her there. I expanded her list of choices and gave her a focus greater than food. I wanted her to explore a new life ruled by her heart rather than her head. I wanted excitement to prevail over her stifling logic and I wanted to give her permission not to be perfect. 

This is still a work in progress but I’m optimistic about the outcome. She is so much more positive about life and is getting healthier each day. I have changed her mind-set and improved her wellbeing. My heart fills with joy listening to her enthusiasm and watching her progress. 

http://www.mikebowden.uk/

The faceless society

How many times do we walk up a street and although we know there are people around us we never really notice them. We go about other business in a world of our own self-importance unaware of others people’s plights or challenges. To us these people don't exist or enrich our lives in anyway.

It can be a harsh reality to accept, but those faceless people in our world have the same perception of us. To them we don’t exist in their world unless we do something to make them take notice. We are nothing in their world and hold no interest to them. When you think about it, it sucks.

I would guess that there won’t be many times that you have met a total stranger, looked them in the eye and smiled. Even the most stern-faced people will soften their expression and usually smile back. You both gain from the experience because you feel acknowledged; you have lost your faceless status and have become a human being.

Now take things a stage further and say “good morning” to a total stranger with a smile and usually you would get the same response. You both gain from the experience because someone was interested enough to break the ice and speak, your faceless status now helps you to become a person.

What response do you think you would you get if you asked someone a question or commented on something you could both relate to? It creates an opportunity for dialog about an innocent common interest. You change the dynamics from two faceless people to two people that are interacting. To engage with someone you must first be interested in him or her before trying to be interesting to them.

You may well look at the last three paragraphs and think, “so what, that was obvious” and yes you would be right, but the question is, how often do we do it? Our own busy life gets in the way of us interacting with other people. Our own insecurities limit the effort we put into engaging with others. Our shyness or embarrassment builds huge walls that stop us from getting noticed.

http://www.mikebowden.uk/blogs/the-faceless-society